Michael and Erika Zoebelein are devoted to being advocates for those with autism.
Within their family of five, the Alabaster couple’s eldest son, Noah, has autism, something he has lived with most of his life.
“Noah was born eight weeks earlier, so we expected delays,” Erika said. “Although there were many milestones he hit at the appropriate time, at around 12-14 months we noticed he was losing his verbal abilities and was not engaging with others as most would at that age. Before he was two, he was tested for the state’s early intervention, and it was determined he was delayed enough to qualify for services. While my husband and I did not seek a specific diagnosis until he was five, we all knew we were dealing with autism and services were geared toward supporting him.”
According to the Autism Society of America, autism is a complex, lifelong developmental disability that typically appears during early childhood and can impact a person’s social skills, communication, relationships, and self-regulation.
Autism is defined by a certain set of behaviors and is a “spectrum condition” that affects people different and to varying degrees.
For the Zoebelein’s two younger children, Sam, 15, and Addi, 11, living with an autistic sibling comes with a mix of emotions.
“Our family dynamic could be described as chaos, everything is a perfect chaos that somehow works while failing at the same time,” Sam said.
Addi describes each day requiring everyone within the family to over-plan and think about little details that no one tends to think about.
“Like going to places when there are less people or going to places where you can easily escape if Noah has a meltdown.”
April is National Autism Awareness Month, a time where focus is given to promoting acceptance of those living with the diagnosis and spreading awareness to others.
Prior to an official diagnosis, Erika said both the younger children knew Noah was a bit “different,” with Sam being more aware at a young age that Noah’s life was going to look different than most.
“Both have just come to accept Noah for who he is,” Erika said.
Noah was able to qualify for the ECLIPSE program through the state/school system, which allowed him to attend three and four-year-old preschools in a class of half typically developing students and half students with various delays and/or disabilities, Erika said.
A typical day for the Zoebelein family consists of Noah being the first person to wake up and get ready for school, or whatever activity the family has planned for that day.
Erika said much of the family’s day is driven by Noah, which can be a very positive or negative thing, if plans change.
“Noah tends to have a plan for everything and while routine is very helpful for him, changing plans due to some unforeseen circumstance can wreak havoc on us all, Erika said. We are constantly trying to balance routine with ‘sometimes things do not always go the way we planned’ with Noah and the siblings, which has been a great lesson in patience and understanding.”
One misconception people have about those with autism, according to Sam, is that people don’t understand what autism is.
“Most people underestimate or overestimate my brother’s capabilities, and it is just because a lot of what autism is, is never taught to the general population. Most people when meeting Noah don’t realize he has autism. Another fact about Noah is his grade level; most people don’t realize Noah can’t graduate from high school like normal kids can and it leads to a lot of confusion explaining to people that he will still be in high school when he is 21.”
Within the family dynamic, Erika said Noah does not understand he is the eldest of three children, and Sam has taken the role of oldest child.
“Noah looks to Sam for direction and inspiration,” Erika said. “Several years ago, Sam was reading the Harry Potter series and after each book completed, we watched the movie. Noah can read, but we are not always sure of his comprehension as he is not able to express what he has learned or if he fully understands. Noah picked up on this reading goal and started with any book for which he could find a movie counterpart, and this continues to this day.”
Noah said he enjoys going on field trips with his brother and sister and going to Amstar movies. He also enjoys reading books with his brother and sister.
Addi said she loves to watch movies or shows as a family since that is a favorite thing for Noah to do, and Sam enjoys going on little adventures with Noah.
“Noah likes to have themed weeks, so one example was for shark week, we went to the Atlanta Aquarium and let him plan meals around the theme, Sam said. “It was really enjoyable.”
Sam said one thing he appreciates the most about his older brother is how kind he is to people he has never met before.
“He can always put a smile on someone’s face,” Sam said. “Seeing Noah getting excited over the things he likes also makes me happy.”
Noah said he loves his mom, dad, Sam and Addi.
Both younger siblings are thankful that Noah has taught them many things.
“I am thankful that I have a different perspective on the world,” Addi said.
Sam is thankful that Noah has taught him many life lessons on patience, and how to understand others who are different.
For more information about autism, visit autism-society.org. For local resources and to support local efforts, visit Angel Warriors Foundation at angelwarriorsfoundation.org and on Facebook @AngelWarriorsFoundation.